I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
