She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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