Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize