I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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