it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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