I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
