hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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