so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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