I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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