i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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