I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he thought i was a dude.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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