You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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