Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
