I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
