You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
