Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
