I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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