I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
