before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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