They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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