I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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