I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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