You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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