Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize