dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
