This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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