maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think i peed on brittanys purse
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
