HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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