Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
