Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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