Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Betty ford says i'm here all night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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