:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
