Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
