we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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