I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
