my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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