Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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