There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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