I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
