My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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