There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
