Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize