It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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