Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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