grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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