My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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