butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
