i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
