Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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