Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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