Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
