toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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