after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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