just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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