Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My hand turned me down
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
