im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
