Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I had to cum in my sink.
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