i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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