I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
