One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
