i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
