Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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