Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
