I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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