Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
