He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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