I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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