remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Shame is for Republicans.
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