Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
