Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
