You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
