im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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