she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
